by

hp5

Cease your protests, the deal is done!  You are to make a fine wife for uncouth American businessman!

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25 Responses to “”

  1. Libby Says:

    This is the most phenomenally surreal blog I’ve ever seen. It’s either quietly brilliant, or a sign of impending doom.

  2. anon Says:

    Uhm… your “translations” are completely wrong.

  3. andrea Says:

    this blog has changed my life. I appreciate your genius. and your incorrect translations.

  4. Jeremy Foist Says:

    Love this. Love it.

  5. Dog Says:

    Cats are evil

  6. William Says:

    This blog proves it: there are things in a good translation that you just can’t get in the original.

    I love this so much. You have nailed both the wording and the content perfectly. I have shown it to pretty much anybody who I’ve seen since discovering it.. Including several Russian speakers, who find it extra hilarious.

    I’ve just been reading the Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopedia, and this complements it nicely. If you haven’t seen that, let me know via email and I’ll have Amazon send you one.

  7. Sara Leigh Says:

    more! more!

  8. steveshark Says:

    The class struggle will be enriched by your efforts, comrade.
    Just beware of straying into the minefield of revisionist treachery.

  9. PJ Says:

    anon, of course the translations are entirely wrong. That’s part of the joke.

  10. Tim Says:

    Very roughly translated, the original reads “We didn’t mail-order tomcats! Climb up into the box, and with the return address we will send you a valuable message!”

  11. what Says:

    tim, uh, that’s not even roughly translated. “we didn’t order any cats. we’ll send you back as a fragile package to the return address.”

  12. Gareth Says:

    if you’re gonna be smart… get it right! its more like:
    we didn’t order any cats by post. get back in the box and we’ll put you on special delivery “return to sender”.

  13. tastouch Says:

    you are officially my favorite интеллектуально блогer

  14. LowOnRations Says:

    Fantastic site! This humor is spot on.

  15. Fluent Says:

    The humor is off-colour… Tired, too, and soooo last decade, these days: “that fat old Russian ex-pat in the States expects you to be a good servant, since he has a HOUSE (which he shares with his mom), but you only have to wait a couple of years till you get a greencard and take him for everything he’s got!!!”

  16. Demi Says:

    I am Russian and find this to be hilarious. I have also shown it to my other fluent friends, and they love it.

  17. Яolcats « b&k m online Says:

    […] Cease your protests, the deal is done!  You are to make a fine wife for uncouth American businessman! ↵ […]

  18. halFluent Says:

    I like you better when you can’t afford the vowels.

  19. JC Says:

    Stunning. Love this blog.

  20. Harold Says:

    We, ugly Americans, sure do love to laugh – so long as its @ others’ expense. Someone hx0rz this site already. Lame.

  21. Groucho Smirnov Says:

    “We at the CIA have ways of making you talk at Guantanamo Bay”

  22. Marina Says:

    For those being able to understand both the original title and the “translation” makes these pictures even more hilarious!

  23. Elli Says:

    I agree, Marina. I would have typed everything into google translate if the text was copyable. It’s not, so I’ll just sit around hoping someone provides the russian text :3
    Lol at the three different people with three completely different translations. Isn’t this, um, a language, that, um, should be possible to actually translate precisely? =D

  24. Throbert McGee Says:

    Elli: Just for your amusement, here’s what I got by typing the Russian into “Google Translate”:

    “We Kotov not ordered by mail! Climb into the box, the return address value premise send!”

    And Babelfish did only a little better — apparently that’s what “Tim” used:

    “We did not by mail order tomcats! Climb up into the box, by valuable message let us send with the return address!”

    (On the other hand, both “what” and “Gareth” got the gist of it correct.)

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