by

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Drat, thwarted so close to freedom’s sweet caress…  I dreamed for but a taste of the decadent west, and now my eulogy is sung by guard dogs and alarm bells.

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98 Responses to “”

  1. Harold Says:

    We, ugly Americans, sure do love to laugh – so long as its @ others’ expense. Someone hx0rz this site already. Lame.

  2. SouthernBelle Says:

    Harold, get a sense of humor. This site is genius comedy.

  3. Haroldsux Says:

    Harold, at least take the time to make a new comment instead of re-pasting the same damn thing every time. ohsobutthurt over nothing.

  4. DPBKMB Says:

    Genius! Every picture united in comedic poetry.

  5. curtyv Says:

    So poetic. So tragic. So Яol.

  6. Sasha Says:

    The translation is wrong, my friend.

    The caption reads,

    “Boxer: How should I deal with insomnia? They have instructed me to count till 10 but right after I reach 9 I immediately jump on my feet.”

  7. Victor Says:

    None of the English translations are even remotely close to Russian originals, which are actually funny.
    FAIL.

  8. Sasha is stupid to get the joke! Says:

    I love this site…

  9. Al Says:

    At this point, you can basically set your watch by someone saying the site isn’t funny and someone saying the translations are wrong…it gives me a bizarre sense of comfort? Kind of like the security of knowing that Grandpa will ALWAYS get drunk at dinner, no matter what. *sigh*

  10. digger Says:

    This site is genius.

    Some people just don’t have a sense of humour.

  11. Plite Says:

    How can people not get the joke? Do they really think that the “translations” are supposed to be authentic?

    Well, it’s enough that I get it and am greatly amused by this fine site.

  12. Jeff Says:

    Thirty years ago, I’m sure this was funny.

  13. Mikey Mongol Says:

    I wonder if, perhaps, the comments aren’t part of the joke, or at least the art.

  14. Denis Says:

    “Decadent West”?!

    Surely poor comrade was corrupted by the American devils’ lie. He should thank the commonwealth that he will be saved by Motherland’s justified embrace.

  15. Anthony Says:

    Don’t ever stop – this is pure comedic gold.

  16. shawn Says:

    i think the site is a fun idea, but I would like to see the real translation to these. from what people have posted the actual Russian is some times funnier than the fake russian.

  17. Max Says:

    Nice photos and nice titles!

  18. Elithrion Says:

    It is indeed funnier to both understand the Russian and read the faux-translations. I shall bask in my ability to achieve this nirvana and laugh at you mortals from on high!

  19. Яolcats Says:

    How come you didn’t register and use: http://Яolcats.com

  20. Sergei Says:

    You are truly meritorious culture worker of Soviet Empire. Continue, please.

  21. JOhn Davis Says:

    LMAO< priceless dude! Loved it!

    RT
    http://www.anonymity.eu.tc

  22. Sarah T Says:

    Pure genius. You bring joy to my life Rolcat man.

  23. Fluent in Russian Says:

    I speak fluent Russian and every single translation on this website is 100% CORRECT. I suspect that the others that say they are wrong are KGB spies attempting to infiltrate american minds with Russian humor.

  24. Chaos Jester Says:

    I don’t speak fluent Russian, but I *have* played a Russian on television, and I tell you that these captions are genuinely in a font!

  25. Cats are Pet Says:

    After Icanhascheezburger I have seen a great humor blog, that is your. Its really create a great humor if you understand it in right way.

  26. Ann Says:

    Who are you two? Every damn one of these things is funny and several of them are pure comedic bliss… Thanks for the best laugh I’ve had in ages.

  27. Nikita K Says:

    Gladagny tuferious kaja remlagen Rolcats.

    Rol that, you running-dog capitalist lackeys.

  28. Jules Says:

    only reading the good comments! This site is full of awesome.

  29. FSB Says:

    Typical CIA propaganda. The barbed wire is to keep decadent west out!

  30. Nublet Says:

    Harold,

    The only ugly American here is you. I recommend plastic surgery and a steady diet of cheeseburgers and “Desperate Housewives.” After some time, this may begin to reverse the process that turned you into a gay socialist suicide bomber.

  31. Dr. Francis Ache-Pohst Says:

    Thank you Fluent, for confirming my diagnosis of the situation (though it’ is “Russianese” not “Russian”. Common misconceptualization.) Anyone who says that these captions were not accurately and lovingly translated from the original Cyanotic alphabetics is just a troll looking to play his or her little troll games under your bridge.

  32. another digger Says:

    If your translation is correct why does the picture show a question mark? The caption doesn’t have a question.

  33. Freedom Says:

    My caress IS pretty sweet…

  34. Huddy's Mama Says:

    I think they’re funny.

  35. Potato Farmer Says:

    You know nothing of my plight 😦

  36. Fluent in Russian Says:

    @another digger

    You don’t know anything about russianese do you? A question mark in the captioned alphabet represents a real letter in english. Or rather, it represents a modification to a letter and changes one letter from its previous designation to another.

    An english example: “a?” might become the letter “e.”

    You don’t know anything about translation do you? Leave it to the genius creators of this site. If you need further verification, check out the books they have written.

    I question their true devotion to mother russia given their capitalist nature: http://bit.ly/h2g5c

  37. Kelly Says:

    Genius. Sheer genius.

  38. The truth Says:

    Fluent in Russian, maybe you do speak fluent russian, but it appears you can’t read a single word 😉

  39. Fluent in Russian Says:

    I grew up in Novosibirsk mining nickel and now you insult my education while slaving for Mother Russia?

  40. Anthony Says:

    What sucks about this site is that now I cannot laugh at the normal lolcats anymore, and there is not enough rolcats right now to suffice my need.
    THis site is great at drawing a clear margin between idiots and smart people.

  41. Anna Says:

    >THis site is great at drawing a clear margin between idiots and smart people.

    As cute as some of these “translations” are, how long can a mind, even an American mind, stay amused at what’s essentially one joke told over and over ad infinitum?

  42. Corey Says:

    This morning I learned Russian with the Rosetta stone software. I can verify that these translations are correct. Please, no further inquiries into the matter.

  43. Anna Says:

    Christ, the original texts really are jewels of Russian mawkishness…

    All right fine, you win. It’s funny. Not sure how precisely it’s funny to non-Russian-speakers, but if you add the juxtaposition of sappy originals and the resulting American WTFery, it’s pretty funny.

  44. Eric Says:

    Great stuff!!! Keep up the good work.

  45. Jorge Says:

    Has anyone pointed out that these captions are incorrect, and that this site is generally unfunny?

  46. Sarklor Says:

    Yes, but such people are dead inside, so their opinions don’t count. That’s what my Commissar tells me, and that’s good enough for me.

    This site is everything I’d ever wanted from the internet and more.

  47. Chris Says:

    This site is funny. If the critical comments are sincere, I find them extremely disturbing. And if they are sincere, I would like to know why the translations and humor are always criticized, but the blog’s subtitle is not (since the “Eastern Bloc” doesn’t exist).

  48. Dosveedanya Says:

    Um, the Soviet thingy collapsed quite a few years ago, so these Soviet/Commie-style jokes are woefully out of date. Russians have embraced the evils of capitalism, if you haven’t heard.

  49. Rolf Says:

    Part of the humor is also being stuck in the past. The absurdity of the outdated Cold War humor, along with memories of how the Soviets were portrayed through both US and Soviet propaganda with a heavy dose of stereotyped Russian stoicism is the recipe for why some of us find this funny.

    I wouldn’t mind a few Napoleon era or Peter the Great era lines though.

  50. Joel Wassner Says:

    Love this website. Thanks for this. Have a good one.

  51. Dustin Says:

    This website is officially my favorite thing ever.

  52. Правда Says:

    Да оставьте вы все америкосов в покое, веселятся как могут и ладно. Интернет – большой, всем места хватит 🙂

  53. madvlad Says:

    There are literal translations that slavishly adhere to the text, and then there are poetic translations that seek rather to convey the author’s meaning and intent rather than his words. These captions definitely fall into the latter category.

    And in the old days of the USSR, we learned to speak in metaphors and hidden nuances to escape the ever-present meddling of the security forces.

  54. Jack Says:

    The punctuation doesn’t match up at all, and were I too speak/read Russian, I’m sure the captions wouldn’t either. Though I am still very amused.

  55. I Says:

    The people that don’t find this site funny need to have their re-education de-programmed.

  56. Lee Says:

    More, more-I need more

  57. Swanky Says:

    I shit my diaper reading these things. Nice work!

  58. .o. Says:

    Wow. The best part about this site are the people who don’t get it. Poor sods. Whole swaths of the internet must be entirely baffling to them.

  59. hairy Says:

    The Russian is much funnier. Stop trying to use lame stereotypes and pathetic attempts at historical references as something humorous. You should have just found a real translator. The Russians know what’s up!

  60. bee. Says:

    The West’s triumphalism over communism is only meant to conceal the conditions of the present. How many of you Americans over 25 sit in offices all day (and take vacation 2 weeks a year) so that you can have some miserable health care plan and earn less than 50k a year?

  61. Anna Says:

    bee: The Dilbert revolution, the necessity of which has been long talked about by Bolshevists,…coo-coo!

  62. fionbio Says:

    Here’s the description of these translations that other Russian readers pissed off by silly stereotypes will understand: КГ/АМ.

  63. Anna Says:

    fionbio: Не знаю не знаю… мне тоже сначала не понравилось, но сдается мне что смеются не над СССР а над анти-советской пропагандой. Уж очень убористо написано. “My eulogy is sung by guard dogs and alarm bells” – прям шансон. :))

  64. Dave Says:

    So close bee. I sit in an office all day, am 24, get 2 weeks of vacation a year, receive an adequate health care plan and make more than 50k a year. So you were like… 50% right or so.

    I did enjoy these, but I agree it would be kind of cool to see the real translations as well. Could one of you people who have bashed the site please start your own and translate them literally?

  65. fionbio Says:

    Anna: возможно, что и так, не исключаю, может, я и не прав. Но более чем уверен, что многие прочитавшие подумают, что в России и правда дурацкие шутки про котов выдержаны в подобном стиле, и что у нас тут медведи не только по улицам ходят, но и в добавок у маленьких детей водку отбирают. Хотя может и фиг с ними 🙂

  66. Anna Says:

    fionbio: Да, дебилов везде хватает, спору нет, но ведь из комментов видно что 90% понимает что это насмешка над определенным стилем отображения СССР а не над самим СССР. Как например, ну, не знаю, иностранец Карбофос из “Следствие ведут колобки” не был никаким определленным западником а насмешкой на советскими образами злого капиталиста.

  67. fionbio Says:

    Anna: да, вероятно, погорячился, не вчитавшись. На близкую тему, но, вероятно, отечественного производства (раньше целый сайт был, потом, кажется, куда-то пропал): http://b.buhoy.ru/keys/%EC%E5%F2%F0%EE

  68. Anna Says:

    fionbio: Пипец, ушла читать. =X-D

  69. bee. Says:

    @Dave: your day-to-day sounds like socialism to me! 🙂

  70. Anna Says:

    fionbio: Статья ничего, но ответы по запросам – это 5. “ромовый дневник скачать Надо «ромовый дневник купить». Вдова и дети писателя не должна нуждаться в средствах для покупки уже ставшего традиционным в семье на ужин чистого эфира.” – эх, помню помню…

  71. Fluent in Russian Says:

    I question why people who believe the originals are oh so much funnier are even here.

  72. fionbio Says:

    Anna: Я просто погуглил запомнившуюся из статьи фразу, а на то что ниже по тексту – не смотрел.

    Fluent in Russian: if you mean me, I never said they’re any better. I just first thought that “translations” suck by themselves, though perhaps I’m wrong here.

  73. FBO Admin Says:

    Я is ‘ya’ in Russian — not ‘R’. Demitri should be spelled Dmitri or Dmitry.

    But I guess that’s part of the comedy.

    Shake it up!

  74. Jeff Says:

    If we can’t laugh at the tragedy of life under the oppression of the old Eastern Bloc, what can we laugh at? This site is genius.

  75. The LovelyAmerican Says:

    What I really want to know is what breed of cat that is, I need one for my collection.

  76. asdf Says:

    its funny cause the russians always like the russian captions better and the americans like the phoney translations better

  77. Anna Says:

    asdf: Not true. I like the two in combination.

  78. squints Says:

    Harold is the admin.

  79. Ксеня Says:

    Забавный сайт 🙂 Но судя по тому, что меня сюда направила знакомая американка с вопросом – “А перевод правильный?”, то видимо не все догоняют. А вообще, прикольно 🙂 и действительно, приведет только к тому, что те, кто и раньше юмор понимали поржут над стереотипами, а те, кто, считают, что в России медведи живут и водка повсюду… ну что ж, бог с ними 🙂

  80. Demi Says:

    Yup, I agree with Anna. I like both of the captions together. I think if you can read and speak Russian you’ll find it twice as funny ^^

  81. RUSSIAxUSA Says:

    What do you mean? This isn’t dental floss?

  82. Karl "Groucho" Marx Says:

    Nyet, nyet to all the bourgeois naysayers!

    This site is not funny because it speaks truth to power.

    With evil American government doubling its share of GDP overnight, you decadent petit bourgeiosie will soon know the glory of Stakanovite enthusiasm in the glorious giant nail factory!

    ROLCATS of the world, unite! Dyslexics, untie!

  83. Karl "Groucho" Marx Says:

    COMRADE ANNA SAYS:

    “As cute as some of these “translations” are, how long can a mind, even an American mind, stay amused at what’s essentially one joke told over and over ad infinitum?”

    ROLCATS are the opiate of the masses. Weak American minds will remain amused as long as Soviet, er… Russian nails are the biggest in the world!

  84. Hans Says:

    Those pictures are purest fun!

    If there were german lolcats, I bet there woud be something similar with Nazi-jokes very soon.

  85. RUSSIAxUSA Says:

    Hans: You mean like “Let me out of this camp! I’m not even kosher!1”?

  86. Rashen Says:

    Very nays site, ah tsink yu shud giv som rashen transleyshan to tze sabs, Coase does not Evry soviet People anderstends IT.

    translated by google

  87. Chris Says:

    After “you punch like a a Georgian” literally changed my life, I check this site twice a day. Give us more rolcats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  88. Russian Lolcats Says:

    This is a good website, although I agree with people who say that jokes get more and more boring as you go through them. One way to avoid it – don’t look through hundreds of them at once!
    When I first saw this website I though “WTF, they’re retarded!” But after reading a few comments it all became clear 🙂

    Great site, something different is always good! Keep it up!

    For those of you who want proper/direct translations, see my name.

    🙂

  89. Karl "Zeppo" Marx Says:

    OMG Ponies! I just realized that the English translations are not really what the Russianese says! I am so disillusioned. It appears as if this is a humor site. I never in my life would have imagined that there would be humor on the Interweb.

  90. Muus 'n Skveerl Says:

    We ❤ rolcats!!

  91. more Photos Says:

    When is the next post?

  92. your mom Says:

    Talk about dropping the ball. All that traffic this week and no updates.

  93. comrade Says:

    Us people seem to be queuing for updates but there are shortages it appears.

  94. Harold Says:

    @Nublet

    Yo mama. <—- the brightest achievement in American humor. Enjoy.

  95. Chris Hunt Says:

    Hey, didn’t that cat used to be on Star Trek? Here’s his picture: http://www.megomuseum.com/startrek/images/balok.jpg

  96. FunkShoi Says:

    This entire website makes me too happy. These re-captions are the latest and most ingenious iteration of lolcats, in that they aren’t completely retarded. I’m currently using this site as a way to weed out my “friends” by seeing who does or doesn’t understand the plight of our feline brethren. I’ve uncovered new enemies and have since formed unlikely alliances. Just remember, all cats are grey at night…

  97. Red Square Says:

    As a fluent speaker in the Mother Tongue, I hereby certify that the translations are fake but accurate. Just ask Dan Rather.

    These wild and crazy cats must have escaped from the underground bunker of the Karl Marx Treatment Center at the People’s Cube where they were being used to conduct experiments in subliminal messaging and lobotomy.

  98. shearn89 Says:

    @Fionbio

    “КГ/АМ.”

    Thats pretty rude… You should just lighten up and enjoy the site. If you don’t like it, go somewhere else.

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