by

tfm

Yes child, enjoy your naive appreciation of life’s novelty. Soon you will grow and so will your disdain for this banal existence you once considered beautiful.

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33 Responses to “”

  1. Lurenwist Says:

    Amazing.

  2. Harold Says:

    We, ugly Americans, sure do love to laugh – so long as its @ others’ expense. Someone hx0rz this site already. Lame.

  3. NO Says:

    um lol at Harold.

  4. Cooley Says:

    Haha, I love this site! The concept is great… If only we could get more of these made!

    @Harold: Lighten up, dude.

  5. Big Boys Socks Says:

    What; no comments on the incorrect english translation? C’mon guys, you’re letting Harold here steal the show (and yes, lol at Harold).

  6. Dudes McCool Says:

    Harold –
    Again with this? Really? Explain to me how mistranslations are in any way degrading or offensive. Seriously.
    And no one says “hx0rz” any more.
    Douche.

  7. Vadim P. Says:

    The most amusing part here is you guys not understanding a word of the original and laughing at your own jokes. And that’s really funny to watch 🙂

  8. Your Disdain for This Banal Existence | John Myles White: Die Sudelbücher Says:

    […] Rolcats image is certainly my favorite so far. This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 25th, 2009 at 3:22 […]

  9. laughing both ways Says:

    where did our intrepid translator go? i want the 2-for-1 laughs …

  10. intrepid translator Says:

    I’m here

  11. Throbert McGee Says:

    The Russian text says (a bit loosely, for rhyme’s sake):

    We’ll go up to Mommy
    And we’ll quietly say
    “Hello, Mommy — it’s Mother’s Day!”
    And when Mommy sees how thoughtful I am,
    Kittycat gets tuna,
    And I’ll get some jam!

    (Yes, it’s really that lame.)

  12. Throbert McGee Says:

    Actually, the thing that strikes me, as I read through the Russian captions on the котоматрицы (i.e., “Яolcats,” for the русско-impaired), is that they’re all quite grammatical, and the spelling is immaculate. Many of them are even in the form of poems, with good rhymes and proper meter.

    But the thing is: the *entire point* of the LOLcat genre is to sound illiterate or even mildly retarded (because cats, of course, have brains the size of walnuts and therefore, if they could use computers, they wud speek & rite lik dis OK?!!) You’re not SUPPOSED to use good spelling and grammar, let alone compose rhyming couplets.

    What I’m saying is: Given the seemingly simple task of trying to imitate the writing style of a retarded kitten, Russians somehow manage to FUCK IT UP! Is there no end to the perversity of the Slavic mind?

    I mean, for example, HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO INTENTIONALLY MISSPELL “спасибо” AS SOMETHING CUTELY RETARDED, like “шпсиииба”? See, I can do it and Russian isn’t even my native fucking language, Ivan! You Communist bastards are so incompetent it fucking disgusts me…

  13. lol. Says:

    gotta love those intellectual russian cats. =3

  14. Matthew Keene Says:

    I speak Russian, and find the mis-translations absolutely hilarious. I check this site almost every day for another one. Keep it up!

  15. slgraffoo Says:

    Russian kitties are smart as to LOL kittehs r to kyoot.

    its that simple.

  16. J-Man Says:

    @Throbert McGee
    Russia is about as far from communist as you can get right now…

    @Harold
    You should be banned from commenting.

    @Rolcats
    Keep it up!

  17. Anna Says:

    Straying from the Soviet themes towards explorations of the the “enigmatic Russian soul”? Hm.

  18. Anna Says:

    @ Throbert McGee: Russians use misspellings in other areas of computer culture. There’s this whole internet ‘language’ out there called “Albanian” (yes, Albanian) where you are supposed to misspell everything for lulz. But it’s not connected to lolcats. It’s connected to a specific subculture of adolescent males, which later got exported to the internet at large. Lolcats as they are understood in America just didn’t take.

  19. ThIvan Denisovich Says:

    @Throbert McGee

    “thhhhhhhhnank you” Is this CUTE MISSPELLING retarded enough for ya? Or does my Slavic mind need to be more perverse in order not to FUCK IT UP?

    You know, since the Russian cat jokes are made by grandmothers who sit on Russian oil welfare and have nothing else to do, but write poems about cats after a life of Nazi occupations and war evacuations why is your redneck mind so troubled by it? Because your Capitalist FAT CAT funds have dried up in the crisis and you need someone to blame, Bob?

    -Ivan

  20. Denis Says:

    The truth is, Throbert, that Russian cats are a product of a much more effective pet education system.

  21. Dustin Says:

    Harold–you do realize that in “The Ugly American,” the title character is physically ugly, but perceptive and polite? You’ve left a comment revealing a critical misunderstanding of a famous book in every thread.

  22. Oldtaku Says:

    I have to agree that for someone who grew up in the era of USSR cold war propaganda the fake English captions are much funnier than the real ones. I also like how the ‘translator’ tries to mimic the general flow of the Russian caption even if the words are completely wrong, to give it an extra level of false authenticity.

    Not that this particular one is of the cold war type – this is much more Dostoyevsky or Kafka, and much as I hate to pile on Harold since so many of you have already smacked him around for his ignorance, this is another case of it. The care lavished on these goes beyond mocking and into appreciation.

  23. laughing both ways Says:

    you ALL are brilliant and hysterical. thank you.

  24. Jason Says:

    I look at these as being in the same category as Mystery Science Theater 3000, where they took movies from another era and added their own commentary and fake dialog in voice over while the original movie played in the background.

    I don’t think the actual translations are a concern at all for the intended humor and the spirit of this particular site. If you are fortunate enough to understand them, then you get two jokes for the price of one! Congratulations! For those of us unable to understand Russian, it is simply more humorous to imagine what these cats *could* be saying under the genre of the Cold War era. It is just harmless humor.

    Anyone who gets upset over this site should probably come back down to reality for a moment and remember one thing: The cats aren’t really saying anything. They’re cats. If you are allowing yourself to become offended or hostile over this kind of humor, then I pity your joyless existence. You need to smile more.

  25. House Of Brindles Says:

    Jason rules.

  26. Throbert McGee Says:

    “Lolcats as they are understood in America just didn’t take.”

    Elsewhere on Яolcats, someone posted a link to lolkot.ru, which does in fact include examples of LOLcatese на “великом и могучем” языке — for example, a grumpy kitten forced to play dress-up has я атамстю in place of я отомщу (equivalent to “i wil get my ribenge!”).

    I’m afraid I don’t speak Russian nearly well enough that I’d be able to decipher the majority of l33T-speak по-русски, though I’ve seen examples of it on the Web before — I had no idea it was called “Albanian,” though. (At least those poor put-upon Chukchi finally got a break…)

  27. Throbert McGee Says:

    “Russia is about as far from communist as you can get right now…”

    ЗОМГ пнастаящму?!?!

  28. sookie Says:

    damn dudes, just enjoy the website. it’s cat pictures with cat text. there’s no scientific formula to it.

  29. Bubjubb Says:

    Oh I just love how deliciously morbid this one is!! ^_^

  30. Throbert McGee Says:

    @Denis

    Whether Russian cats are more educated than American ones, it must be admitted that human Americans, even when well-educated, are often staggeringly incompetent at metrical poetry. I mean, they don’t even know what meter *is*, and when they try to write poems the results sound like a stereotypical Hindi-English speaker, with the ac-CENT on the wrong syl-LA-ble. But most of the Russian verses on this site — even if they’re cringingly bad poetry — at least show a basic technical understanding of “scansion.”

  31. ryan Says:

    I always just figured that their cuteness was curtailed (<– pun) and their horrible spelling refined by a life of hard labor and fear.

  32. NAT Says:

    In Soviet Russia, lolcats disdain need of decadent Westerners to believe their kots only conceive of most simple thought in convoluted syntax and incorrect spelling(s).

    In Soviet Russia, kots exist to make the peoples think! Hard, until brow furrows, and ache of head arrives. After this labor, deserved laughter is brought and thus, more enjoyed for the efforts brought forth, arrayed before purring rolkots.

    Da.

  33. shearn89 Says:

    @NAT – awesome. I lol’d.

    Also, as someone stated in a different thread, you do realise harold is a copypasta bot? He always says the same thing. If he isn’t a bot, he’s very stupid.

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