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Who is Harold and why does he hate rolcats so much?
It depresses me, because I find these “translations” BRILLIANT and HILARIOUS… Why is it that no matter what a person achieves, there’ll always be someone who’ll say “this sucks. this is lame.”
The evil Harold is my other personality, brought on by habitual molestation when I was a child. He seeks to destroy Rolcats because he thinks it will stop the constant sense of shame and violation. I’ve tried to stop him, but he’s just too obnoxious to be silenced, and too stupid to listen to reason.
I’m sorry, everyone. I’m so sorry for Evil Harold, the molested retard child.
“To heck with my ear — all I care about is that tasty PURR-kchop!”
Yes, it’s obviously a beef steak in the photo, not a porkchop — I just took some artistic license to make the obnoxiously cute pun work better in English. The original caption plays on the Russian words for “meow” (мяу) and “meat” (мясо).
By the way, the Russian caption more literally reads “to the Devil with my ear” — a very quaint, grandma-ish way of cursing, which is why I chose “heck” as the English translation.
This picture also reminds me: A popular and cheap “street food” in Russia — much like pushcart hot-dogs in New York or Chicago — are little fried turnovers filled with ground meat. They’re a lot like Mexican “empanadas” or Jamaican “beef patties”, and make a good snack as long as you’re not overly health-conscious.
But they are often called “kitten pies” (пирожки с котятами) as a joke about the low quality and mysterious origins of the meat inside!
There’s a good opportunity here for a multi-level joke involving Clive Barker’s “Midnight Meat Train,” the song “Midnight Train to Georgia,” and that smallish country between Turkey and Azerbaijan, but I can’t think of one now…
“they are often called ‘kitten pies’ (пирожки с котятами) as a joke”
And in case any Russian readers have ever wondered why English speakers use the expression “hot dog” for a сосиска-style sausage, it’s an Americanism from the late 19th century, based on exactly the same logic as “kitten pies.”
The original caption is a reference to the following “story”: a cat is sitting in a barbershop, the client asks the barber who shaves him with a sharp blade: “WTF the cat is waiting for?” The barber answers: “A ear.”