Archive for the ‘1’ Category

March 27, 2009


-His lethargic display of apathy and lack of industry is shameful!

-It is a legitimate response to the harsh and inconsequential nature of being. I celebrate his tenacity!

March 26, 2009


After that act of defiance Grigor was never heard from again.  And none in the company ever spoke of the incident.  He was my best friend.

March 4, 2009


Kapitan, there was an accident in the research facility!  It’s imperative we reach the acid baths…

March 3, 2009


That we both may be a burden on the state, this thought above all others keeps me from sleep this night.

February 26, 2009


-The air is crisp, like fresh spring leaves.

-Do you know the time in Zurich?

-It is you! no one believed you would survive.

-We have little time, you must get these microfiche of the sub plans to Moscow

February 26, 2009


Let this serve as a warning to all betrayers!

February 25, 2009


Commissar Markov has long been a loyal party member, but I fear his growing influence in state policy.  Perhaps it is time to cash in a favor from my friends at the Kremlin.

February 24, 2009


Yes child, enjoy your naive appreciation of life’s novelty. Soon you will grow and so will your disdain for this banal existence you once considered beautiful.

February 18, 2009


Drat, thwarted so close to freedom’s sweet caress…  I dreamed for but a taste of the decadent west, and now my eulogy is sung by guard dogs and alarm bells.

February 17, 2009


Lie back and think of summers in Kiev, o cloudless sky.

Our edifices are firm but gentle lovers!

You shall not want for steel…

February 16, 2009


The men I’ve sent to death weigh heavily on my mind; but this burden is but a fist of straw compared to the strain of the republic.

February 15, 2009


Your inactivity is criminal, porcine gastropod…

Go back to Oklahoma!

February 11, 2009


Alarm!! Don your masks or you will dance the sarin jig this night!!!

February 9, 2009


I have bested my brethren this day!!!

It is I who will inflict happiness and joy upon countless children in the Moscow Circus!

February 6, 2009


Have strength, my little cabbage. By the mercy of NKVD Order No. 00447, we have been chosen for Resettlement.

We will show the tin mines of Kolyma the true power of the proletariat.

February 4, 2009


Aaaaah… Pig iron, your musk is that of glorious industry …

February 3, 2009


You’re light on your payments again Andrei.  If we discover you’ve been holding out, you’ll be treated to a reunion with your cousins at the bottom of the Moskva.

February 2, 2009


These consumables are contraband, comrade – your passage to the gulag is paid for in L’eggs Body Beautiful Smoothers Shaping Hosiery!

January 30, 2009


Cease your protests, the deal is done!  You are to make a fine wife for uncouth American businessman!

January 30, 2009


Do not despair, Laika! Comrade Khrushchev honors you!

Our love was but a dalliance!

Your ascent to the cosmos will strike terror into the West!

January 30, 2009


I swear I spoke no ill of The Party!

Submit with honor, and you will earn a proper burial among your fathers

January 29, 2009


Your floral offering serves as no deterrent to the inevitable, betrayer.

You will now join me in oblivion.

January 29, 2009


Cease your rescue attempts!

Harvest my connective tissues so that the Motherland may restock her glue reserves…

January 28, 2009


What beauty, not since during Glasnost has my heart soared so! I intend you to bear my children, this request you will not deny!

January 28, 2009


This shall provide the nourishment needed to brave the crowds awaiting their weekly beetroot ration.

January 28, 2009


We sleep with vigor. Content with the knowledge that Lenin’s body shall never decay…

January 28, 2009

dbMother, if my constitution is unfit for gymnast… The grist mill shall become my pommel horse and daily labor my reward!

January 28, 2009


Where re-education has failed my comrade, the hangman’s noose will succeed…

January 28, 2009


Puppy: Can I conjure happiness from physical things?

other: You can try.

Puppy: This experience made me weak willed and afraid

other:  With this effort you will come up short every time.

January 28, 2009


You punch like a Georgian!

January 28, 2009

sqIs most powerful laptop in all of Tbilisi, can it be?

(The cat, he is quoting famous Russian comedian)

January 28, 2009


were it not for fashionable style haircut.. sniper’s bullet would have made my death.. it is true!

January 28, 2009

I can see someone’s misplaced Ushanka? Careless fool, winter’s bitter fury will surely smother their spirit.

January 28, 2009


Do you mistake us for sincere?

We adorn ourselves thus to mock the capitalist sacrament of annual materials exchange…

January 28, 2009


We are American humans swimming in water suitable for drinking!

January 28, 2009


Paned windows are prohibited in this sector, comrade Sergei.
Will you kindly report to the Lubyanka, or will you force me to violence?…